Finding the Time to Fly
by time.forgets
Summary: It was a funny thought; killing time. As if time were a living, breathing thing, capable of death. TIVA. Season 7 Spoilers
1. Clair de Lune

**A.N. This will be (hopefully) a collection of one-shots based on what song comes on my mp3. At the moment I am fairly sure they will all be based on Season 7 and I will say what episode there are spoilers for at the start because being in Australia I hate it when people don't say spoiler and then it ruins the next episode. Anyway enough of my ramblings. I'm not 100% happy with this but I am on a writing blitz at the moment so hopefully I will have a few chapters out. Please review with what you think- I love knowing peoples opinions...even bad ones =) **

**Disclaimer- I own nothing....but Christmas is soon.......**

**SPOILERS: SEASON 7 EPISODE 1 Truth or Consequences **(but not massive ones)

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**Clair de Lune**

I knew where I would be able to find her long before I heard the music. What felt like years ago now she had told me that when she was stressed or lost she would only go to one of two places.

The first was somewhere to dance. I knew from many nights spent together about this. No one else did; not Gibbs, not McGee and not even Abby. It made me feel a bit special all those years back knowing something about Ziva David that she usually kept to herself. It felt like I was finally breaking through one of her many walls that she had built around herself.

I knew she wouldn't be dancing. Not because she didn't want but because I knew she couldn't. Even after getting fixed up on the plane back to NCIS her legs weren't strong enough; barely supporting her own weight walking let alone dancing. So I knew exactly where she was.

She looked so small compared to the giant, empty room. She looked tired, beaten up and mentally exhausted yet still the soft melody erupting from beneath her fingers was amazing. I never understood why NCIS had such an expensive piano when people barely used it. Maybe once a year at an important function but I didn't wonder anymore I just listened.

I knew the song so well. I was the one who had taught her it so I should know it. She played it perfectly; better than me and I ducked my head in embarrassment. I could barely remember the last time I had played my piano.

The song started to build up and I could see her counting under her breath, her fingers moving across the keys which such practised elegance. It made me think of easier times when the two of us would stay at her house. The piano mixing with our voices until late in the night, only stopping if we were too tired to keep going or the neighbours threatened to call the police. Surely we weren't that bad....

I slowly walked up to her, not wanting her to stop playing. She didn't notice me so either my ninja skills were getting better or she was really tired. It was probably the latter. When I was right behind her I got really worried. Where were my ninja's ninja senses? I continued to fret silently until she said, her eyes never moving from the piano, her fingers never pausing, "What do you want Tony? You have been dangling around here for ages."

It took me a few seconds to realise what she was saying.

"Hanging Ziva, not dangling."

My relief of her noticing me was swept away when I didn't receive a snappy or witty remark back only a quiet 'sorry'. Things still weren't right here.

Her fingers began slowing down in a part of the song I knew they shouldn't be. I gently reached out a hand a brushed back some of her wild, tangled hair and she slowly leaned back into my touch. Not much but enough for me to know what it meant. The music stopped and I gently picked her up off the tiny stool, her eyes already drooping of their own accord.

"Shh Ziva," I whispered when she started to move. "It'll be okay I promise."

By the time we had reached the squad-room she was fast asleep and I saw Gibbs watching us, a suspicious frown on his face. That wasn't right either. Our team had to restore its trust. Gibbs's trust in Ziva and Ziva's trust in me. I didn't worry though because worrying wasn't going to help anyone. I simply placed sleeping Ziva in my chair using the horrible old coat to cover her.

We could work out trust later, for now I was just happy we were all alive.

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Okay I know corny last line but I had to end it with something......this is why I don't like writing one-shots. ANYWAY....REVIEW! Please and make my day.

Jules


	2. Run Away

A.N. I had this idea at 2:30 last night and throughout the day it has changed to something completely different to what I set it out to be but I actually really like this one. I guess it's very 'raw' writing- not edited, not thought over too much just written (so excue any mistakes!) I hope you enjoy it and please review! It makes me happy and a happy Jules writes faster.

Dislcaimer: I don't own any of them which is sad...I don't even own a shiny red car.

SPOILERS: Vague spoilers for season 7 Episode 1 and 2

Oh I forgot to say that the name of the chapter is the name of the song that inspired it. This one is Run Away by Artist Vs. Poet which I don't own either.

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**Run Away**

I was sleeping peacefully in the Navy Lodge I was staying at. Okay, not peacefully but I was used to that by now; it wasn't like the nightmares were a new thing they were just worse since I was captured. I heard my phone vibrate a second before a song started playing. Most people surrounding me stayed asleep but a few groaned at me to answer it which I didn't, I just hung up and rolled over.

It started again and this time more people woke up and before I had a horde of angry, tired navy people on me I picked up the phone and answered it even though I really didn't feel like talking to the person on the other end. I had done well in avoiding him so far and a confrontation with Tony at four thirty in the morning didn't appeal to me.

"What?" I answered harshly, whispering so I didn't annoy my roommates.

"Be outside in 10 minutes," Tony replied and I didn't know why but his voice sounded urgent and my overactive imagination had already thought of ten horrific situations involving the team's imminent death.

I pulled on pants, boots and a shirt in record time leaving my hair crazy and free. Running down the steps I looked at my watch and realised I had made it out the front in five minutes. I guess some training never leaves you.

He pulled up two minutes later in a shiny car I had never seen before. A sports car. A RED sports car. One identical to the one we hired in LA. A smile lit up my face even though I didn't know what was going on and I quickly jumped into the passenger seat looking at Tony who had a giant pair of sunglasses on even though it was still dark outside. Some people never grow up.

I saw him looking at me carefully and I knew I had dark circles under my eyes from not sleeping and I knew I had terrible morning hair but he was staring for an awfully long time and I started to get nervous but I kept eye contact anyway. More training that stuck with me. Eventually he looked away and I couldn't stop the shiver that had gone through me. Why did I just feel like he had read my mind?

I focussed back to the present and blurted out a question I should have asked ages ago.

"Where are we going?" My voice sounded weird to my own ears and I put it down to lack of use. I only talked when I had to nowadays.

"Away," was the only answer I got and I looked at Tony alarmingly, (did this count as kidnapping?) only to be met with a giant grin I had missed so much. I couldn't even remember the last time I had seen him so happy but I didn't care I just smiled a smile that could rival his and with a big exhale, threw my arms up into the air and let out a big yell, letting out all my anxiety, fear, happiness, excitement; everything I was feeling right now and turning my head, grinned at Tony. The sassy, cheeky, excited grin I thought I had forgotten how to do. He looked back at me with confusion and I thought he might just keep on driving me straight to the mental home but then he smiled back and let out a yell way louder than mine had been.

Then it was on.

Our yelling got louder and louder until people were yelling at us from their houses and dogs were barking everywhere we passed but that couldn't crush our spirits.

Finally with a satisfied feeling inside me and a sore throat we stopped at a park I recognised from before. Before Somalia, before Michael, before Jenny's death and before Jeanne.

We both jumped out of the shiny red car and went and sat on the swings just like we had all those years ago.

We didn't talk.

We didn't look at each other.

We just sat.

And thought.

After a while once the sun was high in the sky and the morning chill had been replaced by a warm day we both got up slowly making our way back to the car bumping into each other gently along the way. It felt so weird to be acting so normal but I ignored it and focussed on the warmth of his shoulder on mine, his rough hands brushing back my wild hair and as we jumped into the car we shared a quick wild grin before facing the front and yelling like our voices weren't going to disappear by the end of the day, like we hadn't just travelled half-way around the world to save ourselves from death and like we wouldn't get Gibbs-slapped for being so late for work.

Oh yeah, we yelled loud.

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_Review!! _

_Jules._


	3. I Dare You to Move

A.N. Wow this is pretty amazing in terms of updating for me. I hope you enjoy it and please review (wow probably my shortest authors note ever!)

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS and I don't own 'I Dare You to Move' by Switchfoot which is an amazing song!!

SPOILERS: Season 7: Episodes 1 & 2

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**I Dare You to Move**

She had done what Abby told her to and now it was his turn. She said sorry, she said everything she was feeling and then she kissed him. Okay not really kissed him but on the cheek. A really long one on the cheek. She had felt him shiver; she had seen his eyes turn from electric green to a deep swirling green she could get lost in. She felt his pulse jump erratically and she felt his calloused , warm hand slide across her cheek. That was when she thought he would kiss her but instead words about the case spurted from his mouth and he hurried away, the swirling green look still in his eyes promising Ziva that he _would _make the next move. It was his turn after all.

She knew what she was doing now but after two days of Tony doing nothing she wanted to go down and yell at Abby to tell Tony the rules of this game they were playing.

But she didn't because deep down she knew Tony would make the next move when he was ready; she had seen it in his swirling green eyes.

So she waited.

And waited.

And after a week she was tired of waiting, suddenly not caring about the rules of the game. Since when had she followed any rules anyway?

With this conclusion in her head she had driven to Tony's apartment and had knocked on the door before she really thought about what she was doing. In the four seconds between her knocking and him answering Ziva came to a conclusion.

This was the shittiest idea in history.

But it was too late to back out now so when Tony opened the door looking far too sexy than he should in grey track pants and a black top, she jumped him.

Okay not literally but she did pounce straight away, grabbing his head and pulling it to her own their lips meeting hardly and awkwardly.

That was when Ziva knew it was a REALLY bad idea.

Tony seemed to shocked to move; his feet stuck to the floor and his face stuck to Ziva's but after a few seconds where Ziva was worrying more than she had ever done in her whole life before he realised what was happening and kissed back.

This was the best idea ever.

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_Once again, please review- it makes me happy =)_

_Jules._


	4. Whisper

A.N. This isn't grammatically correct or anything. I actually wrote it in one day at school in the back of my Science book but it is really honest which the last few chapters has been as well. More what I want to write than what I THINK I should write. Enough of me blabbering on. Read it- review it- tell me what you think and if you have any ideas you want in a chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS or Whisper by Evanescence (which is a really awesome song!)

SPOILERS: Season 7: Episode 1

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**Whisper**

_Tony POV_

I didn't tell Gibbs about that night. I was too worried that he wouldn't let her back at all if he knew. But she was better now.

I hoped.

She hadn't talked to me about it and I wasn't even sure if she remembered it; although avoidance was rather like Ziva David.

That night still haunted me; that crazy expression in her too bright eyes, the blood that stained my floor as she struggled.

I was driving her home as she had nowhere to stay that night and we all agreed she shouldn't be alone. That terrible emotionless dead look was on her face and nothing I said changed it. She didn't move, didn't answer my questions, didn't talk the whole car trip.

I f I was worried about her before I was terrified now. Where had MY Ziva gone?

By the time we got home it was dark but I kept the lights off while I gently pulled her filthy big coat of her thin shoulders. It felt like she would just snap in half at the tiniest touch.

I turned on a lamp when she slowly sat herself down on my couch. Every movement she made looked awkward, like she had to think about it, like nothing was normal for her anymore.

I slowly walked towards her, pulling up a wooden chair to sit across from her. The chair scraped across the floorboards and when I saw a flicker deep in the swirling brown depths of her dead eyes I knew that it had been a very big mistake.

She moved so quickly I barely saw it, kicking the chair out from under me so I landed on the floor with a loud bang.

She was suddenly on top of me, punching and choking me and although I knew what to do I didn't want to do it. I didn't want to hurt Ziva any more.

The pressure on my throat was getting harder though and even though I knew Ziva thought she was back in that hell hole, Saleem in the chair in front of her not me, I had to fight back or she would kill me without knowing it. I used my weight against her frail body, flipping her over so I was holding down her flailing limbs but after a well placed knee to the stomach, she pushed me off and ran to a dark corner, away from the lamp's light.

I could practically see the images flashing in front of her wide eyes, hear the noises she could around her and I felt sick to my stomach that she had to relive that nightmare all over again.

"Ziva," I whispered and although her eyes flickered towards me I don't think she registered it.

I got up carefully and made my way over to her, staying in her line of vision even though she wasn't seeing me anyway. I was right in front of her and I thought it might be okay, that she might be okay. I reached out, my fingers slowly extending until they just brushed her own but before I could do anything else I had been shoved into the wall and Ziva was off running again, coming into view before slipping out of reach of the light again.

I saw her shadow slip into my study and I quickly followed her, more worried about what she might do to herself than what she might do to me.

I eased into the room, seeing a small dark huddle under my baby grand piano. Of course Ziva would hide there.

I got on my hands and knees, staying the same size as her. It was a long shot but maybe she wouldn't feel as threatened with me down lower. As I crept forward I could see the fear in her eyes but there were flashes of recognition and confusion and I could imagine my face flickering between my own and Saleem's, Ziva trying to figure out who it really was.

I guess she finally figured it out because she let out the tiniest whimper that sounded so much like 'Tony'. I reached out and brushed her dirty cheek, running a finger down it before moving closer and gently pulling her out from behind the piano, whispering to her that it would be okay the whole time. I hoped that what I was saying was true.

I didn't let go of her until we reached my car but I held onto her hand the whole drive, trying to decide if I hated the dead look she wore before or the tormented crazy look she wore now, more.

I drove like a madman (or Ziva) and was outside of Gibbs's house in no time. His door was unlocked as usual and it felt strange to kick it open with Ziva still crazy in my arms.

I didn't go down to the basement where Gibbs's would have surely been working on his boat; instead I found his room and rifled through his drawers until I found a big NIS jumper that would hopefully comfort Ziva more than the clothes she had worn in Somalia.

She lifted her arms obediently as I undressed her and all the times I had imagined myself doing this were so far away from the truth it was funny. We hadn't been in Gibbs's house while I dressed her in Gibbs's shirt with Gibbs downstairs and we definitely hadn't been climbing into Gibbs bed.

And Ziva hadn't been crazy.

But I guess things don't always turn out the way we expect them to.

I knew that Gibbs knew something was wrong hen he walked in to see Ziva and I tucked up in his bed, my arms around her keeping her safe and her eyes wide with that crazy twinkle; but he didn't say anything, just climbed in next to Ziva and held her tight until she finally fell asleep, shivers wracking her body.

When I woke up the next morning Gibbs was gone but at least Ziva was sane again.

I hoped.

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_REVIEW!!!!!!!!!_

_Jules =)_


	5. Fuck Me Like You Hate Me

Okay so I've had to up the rating for this one but only for a tiny bit of swearing! So read and review- this one came to me during Science aswell...there must be something about that lesson....

Also I have been added to a tonne of alerts and favourite stories which is AWESOME but could people PLEEEEASE review. Even just a simple smily face makes my day =)

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone! Which really sucks =(....Christmas is soon though.....

I also don't own the song which is Fuck Me Like You Hate Me by Seether which despite its rather crude title is a really awesome song

SPOILERS: Season 7: Episode 3

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**Fuck Me Like You Hate Me**

Special Agent Ziva David was still smiling as she waved goodbye to Abby, the bubbly Goth still congratulating her as she climbed into her Hearse, McGee sitting awkwardly in the passenger's seat.

She gently shut the door, turning to face her last guest. Of course Tony would be last. As she looked at him her breath caught in her throat; he was watching her closely, his deep green eyes scrutinizing and Ziva felt like he could see right through her.

The whole night he hadn't said a word to her, just watched her with that look of gentle amusement sparkling in his eyes. That look that sparked something deep inside of her.

"So are you going to say something or just sit there in silence?" she asked, sarcasm lacing her words.

He stood up, still keeping his eyes locked on hers and walked towards her like a predator stalking its prey.

Oh yeah it was hot.

"Congratulations…Very Special Agent David," he said, his voice low and husky and instead of the hugs she had received from everyone else, he leant down until his lips were millimeters from her neck, his warm breath tickling her ear.

He finally dropped the tiniest kiss behind her ear and with a slightly hitched breath she closed her eyes.

He was out the door before she had any time to recover, shivers still running up and down her spine.

Fuck him for making her feel that way.

Fuck Tony DiNozzo.

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_like? hate? how about reveiwing?_

_Jules._


	6. Black Swan

AN. WOW so I guess I know what it takes for you guys to review! Basically a lot of hot sex! Okay so this chapter hasn't got any sexy but I really hope I get as many reviews (please!) because I really like this chapter. It's a little cooky and there's no way I would want this to actually happen on the show but then I guess that's why it's FANFICTION. Anyway- PLEASE REVIEW! It makes me really happy and you don't want to dissappoint me after the review splurge of last chapter...

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot and I don't own the song which is Black Swan by Thom Yorke

SPOILERS: Season 7: Episode 1

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**Black Swan**

They rushed in as soon as they heard the crash. It echoed off the kitchen walls and came at them louder than a normal crash should. Loud enough to shake them inside.

"Ziva!" Tony called out when they were running through the door; she had been bad lately and neither of them wanted to see her hurt anymore. She didn't answer but they were right in front of her soon enough anyway.

Her eyes were bright; too bright and there was a half smile on her thin ragged face. By her feet were broken pieces of the plate she must have been carrying. The white shards were across the whole kitchen floor and Ziva's half smile seemed to grow.

"Did you hear it?" she asked, her voice too light and carefree to be the Ziva they knew.

Without any warning she turned around and picked up another white plate, dropping it with an almighty crash; that dreadful half smile lighting up her face.

"Did you hear it Tony?" she asked again and Tony couldn't answer, only shake his head and slowly move closer. It looked like something in Ziva had snapped. It wasn't a question of if she was crazy or not now; it was a question of how crazy she was and whether she could come back to them.

As she picked up another plate and threw it over Tony's shoulder, missing Gibbs by inches, the two men looked at each other fearfully.

"Did you hear it?" she asked again and Tony looked back at her, the tears forming in his eyes and running down his cheeks.

"No I didn't Zi," he whispered back.

-

After that they put her away in a beautiful place with lots of other crazy people but no matter how beautiful it was, with its large gardens and the big old house, Tony didn't want her in there.

He came to visit her nearly every day, sometimes with Gibbs or McGee or Abby but more often alone. Every time he came in she would be halfway down the stairs, running towards him a huge smile on her face that he had never seen before she went crazy.

Sometimes he joked about her 'spidey sense'; how she always knew he was coming but then that brought back painful memories of their movie night so he stopped before she could even comprehend what he was saying.

She would always greet him with a hug that rivalled Abby's and although he had wanted to hold her for so long these hugs felt foreign and not like Ziva at all. She would then step back, looking at him straight in the eye and ask,

"Did you hear it Tony?"

Every time she asked him that it was like someone was stabbing him in the chest with an icy knife but he never let her onto it, simply replying,

"No I didn't Zi."

-

Months passed and Gibbs never complained about Tony being late after seeing Ziva, probably because he got twice as much work done because he never goofed off anymore but more like because he wished he had to guts to go and see Ziva. Tony understood, Gibbs had already lost so many people he couldn't see his strong Ziva lost to herself. Tony kept on going though, because although it hurt him to see her so crazy she was always so happy to see him and he valued her happiness over everything else.

It was that morning though that changed everything. He came in at the same time he always did and she was halfway down the stairs like she always was but today there was no huge smile on her face. She wore a scowl that stirred something deep in her eyes and the look was so much like pre-crazy Ziva that Tony's breath hitched in his chest.

"Did you hear it?" she asked after a hug that wasn't warm and big like the ones she had given him every day since she came here but hard and fast like he knew they would have been all those years ago and without him realising it a tiny seed of hope formed in his heart.

"No Ziva, I didn't," he replied and as their visit progressed he found himself with the psychiatrist, speaking to him for the first time since he and Gibbs and brought her there.

"She seems a bit better today," the psychiatrist said in his clipped, formal tone. "A bit more with than she usually is," and as Tony watched her staring at the doctor like she was going to pick up the paperclip from the desk and kill he silently agreed. The seed of hope grew.

The psychiatrist left soon after that and suddenly Ziva was right in front of Tony's face, invading his personal space the way only the old Ziva could. The seed grew even bigger.

Until he saw the plate.

With an almighty crash the plate dropped from her small hands and as they plate hit the floor, breaking into a million pieces Ziva let out the most heart breaking sound Tony had ever heard. It was halfway between a sob and a whimper and for once he heard the sound that must have been trapped inside her head for all of these months.

"Did you hear it Tony?" she asked, her voice filled with pain and worry.

"Yes Zi, I heard it," he replied, choking on his own fear, relief and tears.

-

He was so late to work that day as he couldn't leave Ziva but after seeing the look of hope and happiness on his face Gibbs couldn't punish him for it.

The next day he went to visit her again, the seed of hope feeling strange in his chest.

He opened the door and turned around to shut it, almost too scared to see what Ziva would be like.

She came bounding down the stairs, a huge smile on her face and wrapped Tony in a tight, warm hug.

"Did you hear it?" she asked, her voice carefree and her eyes bright.

"Yes, how could I not hear it Zi?"

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_review. Jules._


	7. Special Mugs

A.N. Sorry, it's been a long wait but here's the next chapter. I'm not sure if I like this one so much PLEASE REVIEW anyway- it actually will make me update quicker as I have about four chapters already started! Including one I am really looking forward to involving _Cluedo!_

_Disclaimer: I own no one and I don't own a song this time coz there is no song...I know sad =P_

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**Special Mugs**

I guessed that they were seeing each other because of four things. Sure there were other hints but truthfully it was only four things.

The first was the talks in the men's room. By now I was used to the fact that Ziva regarded the men's toilets hers as much as the women's but lately her and Tony's "talks" had become a lot more frequent and I wasn't entirely sure they were only talking.

The second was that whenever they arrived late they would arrive within minutes of each other. Ziva was rarely late but when she was DiNozzo would be right behind, their smiles big and eyes dancing as they waltzed out of the elevator.

The third was the mugs. We were all over Ziva's; making sure she was okay and letting loose with one of her amazing meals. It was after dinner and we were all lounging around the big fire DiNozzo had been chopping wood for most of the day. Ziva asked everyone if they wanted a hot drink and just as she was about to walk out with the coffee and tea orders, Tony jumped out of his seat and picked up Ziva, whizzing her around in a circle while she let out a little squeal.

Now I didn't know _too_ many Mossad Officers but I was pretty sure that _squealing_ was not something that was done often.

So I kept my eye on them.

Tony then set her down, giant grins on both of their faces.

"Zee-vah," he whined. "I want-"

"Your special mug, I know," she cut in, smiling slightly before walking, no, sauntering off. Ziva never walked anywhere.

So...DiNozzo had a _special mug._

The fourth thing was when I found them making out in Autopsy. I had pretty much guessed before so it didn't really bother me but I kept up my angry stance just to watch them stutter out excuses.

It was entertaining to see them so nervous.

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Okay this was an idea from these AWESOME mugs I have that are all different (though similar) and I always have my special one and BABOOM idea. I did want to describe the mug in more detail but it failed. Review please- it makes me happy and write faster =)

Jules.


	8. I Bruise Easily

A.N. See, I did update pretty quickly so I'm pretty proud of myself! Okay, the main delays as of two weeks ago is school (exams coming soon), dance (big end of year concert coming soon, music (exams coming soon), cadets, hot weather (so BEACH!!) and many many other things that you probably don't care about =)

So here it is- it's kinda based on the song _I Bruise Easily _by Natasha Beddingfield but once again _kinda _based on it.

SPOILERS: Season 7: Episode 1

disclaimer: I don't own any NCIS characters or the song.

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**I Bruise Easily**

I didn't mean to walk in on her.

I didn't want to walk in on her.

I knew she must still be hurting on the inside but Somalia was so long ago now I could just push it to the back of my head.

Until I saw the scars that is.

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I was running an errand for Gibbs down to autopsy; a whole stack of papers for Ducky to sign. I strode in calling out to the Duck Man when what I saw sitting on one of his autopsy tables made me stop dead in my tracks.

It was Ziva dressed in the way I had only seen in my imagination. Small, plain black panties and a matching bra but the rest of her was nothing like I had thought about.

People said that physical scars heal the quickest. Why then, were there scars and bruises covering her body. Some a faded pink that were almost healed and other still angry red weeping scars that must have hurt her so much more than it hurt me to see them; and that was hurting a lot.

"Ziva," I mumbled and her dark eyes jumped over to mine, meeting my gaze with a fear I had never seen her show, her arms moving across to try and cover herself but it didn't matter. I had already seen enough to haunt me.

I walked over to her slowly, my eyes roaming over her bare, bruised body, committing the horrible sight to memory even though a part of me just wanted to run and never think of it again.

I couldn't though because her body, her scars and her eyes had captivated me and as she hopped off the autopsy table to stand in front of me I couldn't stop staring, not at her exposed body with the scars that marred it but into her dark eyes which were telling me so much, expressing so many emotions silently I couldn't register half of it.

"Ziva," I whispered, my voice breaking at the end and I could have hit myself for showing so much weakness.

I couldn't stare into her eyes any longer; they were just as broken as her body so I took a step back, my eyes roaming once again over the woman in front of me.

My hand seemed to reach out of my own accord and I traced the twisted, pink scar that was cut into her perfect stomach. Goose bumps erupted where I touched and I heard her breathing pick up, whether from fear or something else I didn't know.

My fingers kept on moving, ghosting over her marred skin, tracing all of the imperfections that made her so perfect. They travelled over her shoulder to her tanned strong back that had deep welts cut into them and the sight was so painful my fingers stopped their roaming and my eyes met hers once again.

My hungry eyes ran over her face, committing it all to detail for the thousandth time but since Somalia there was some new scars and I leant in slowly, watching her reaction carefully before I pressed the gentlest kiss to the thin pink scar just above her eyebrow.

With a whoosh and surprised "Oh my," Ducky entered and the connection I had undoubtedly felt just then was broken and with a blush I almost ran out of autopsy, Ziva's dark, hurt eyes following me the whole way.

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_Review! And I will update ASAP. Hope you enjoyed it and even if you didn't, you can review anyway =)_

_Jules._


	9. Listen to the Rain

A.N. Wow two chapters in one day =) This one is rather....crazy, illogical; basically everything I love to write when I don't think about it. If you don't understand it- don't worry because I don't either. I just hope you take _something_ out of it. And maybe review?!

SPOILERS: None really =)

Disclaimer: I don't own any NCIS characters and I don't own the truly amazing song _Listen to the Rain _by Evanescence

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**Listen to the Rain**

I was shaking and even though I was standing in the middle of a storm it wasn't from the cold. The rain poured all around me, soaking my hair, my clothes, my soul.

The noise of it hitting the ground was echoing around my head, swirling into beautiful patterns that were making me crazy and with a silent curse to the sky which was echoed with a deafening clap of thunder, I sat on the wet ground.

"Why can't you save me?" I whispered to the rain falling around me and I couldn't tell who I was asking. Gibbs, Tony, Aba, Ari, Tali, Ima and their names were swirling around in my head and I held onto them tightly because at that moment it made me feel closer to them and right then I needed someone to be close to or my whole little world would go spinning off into nowhere. I clung to every piece of insanity that would keep me sane as I stopped my muttering that to anyone walking by might sound like a prayer. To me it was.

I stood up, knowing that the world might look a tiny bit smaller if I could only get to my feet.

I stood there with the rain pouring around me, soaking my hair, my clothes, my soul.

When I heard the whisper behind me I thought I was truly going crazy. It was whispered in a voice I knew better than my own. In a voice that had whispered so many things to me over the years.

"It's okay Zi. I've got your back remember, I've always got your back." Tony's voice seemed to slip into the noise of the rain and as the thunder picked up, a bright flash of lightning always just before it, I couldn't hear him at all.

"I'm still here with you," he said during a break in the thunderous storm. "Just listen to the rain," he whispered and rather than hearing the words it was like I could feel them, pulsing through me and filling me.

Finally, when my fragile little world seemed so much less breakable, I sank back into his warm, soaked body.

We stood there with the rain pouring around us, soaking our hair, our clothes and bringing us closer in a way I had never felt before.

Maybe everything would be okay.

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_Like I said, completely insane but if you enjoyed it, got it, got bits of it, didn't understand a single thing then...REVIEW and make me happy._

_Jules._


	10. Painkiller

A.N. Okay...kinda steamy chapter =) Hope you enjoy it- you all know the drill REVIEW!

It is kind of not related to season 7 (so no spoilers) and even though it's not season 7 I thought you guys might like it anyway!

Dislcaimer: I don't own anyone which sucks...but maybe for Christmas. I don't own Pailkiller by Pendulum vs. Freestylers

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**Pailkiller**

She couldn't help but compare the music she was dancing to now with what she had when she was younger. Back then she had danced with pointed toes and elaborate tutus to beautifully written music. It had violin, piano, flute, brass and hundreds of other instruments all made to play amazing harmonies and now she was listening to music, if you could even call it that, made up of horrible words, screams, electric guitar but mostly made up of sounds out of a computer. Back then handpicked choirs would sing as she danced, their words passed down through time still in Latin or Italian or Hebrew. Now a twenty-year old male was rapping about overdosing on drugs and having three-somes but even with all of this Ziva had completely surrendered herself to the music and instead of perfectly timed pirouettes and jetes her hips were grinding in a slow circular motion pressed up against a stranger behind her who's hands were gripping her moving hips like it was the only thing holding him up. Seeing how much he'd had to drink that night it might have been.

She saw Abby making her way through the crowded dance floor, slightly drunker than Ziva. Her system was programmed for litres of caff-pows not alcohol.

"This is so much fun!" Abby yelled over the music but even so Ziva could barely hear her. The song ended and she eagerly followed Abby away from the guy whose hands had started to wander.

"I am so hot!" Ziva exclaimed, knocking back the rest of her drink before catching a waitress for a refill.

"I'll say," Tony leered, his eyes raking over her body so hard she swore she could feel it.

She had decided that the occasion had called for a different outfit than her cargos so she had pulled out from the back of her wardrobe a very small army green mini skirt. So short the length rivalled the one Abby was wearing. Her legs were long and bare and luckily the heat of the club kept her exposed skin warm. Her top was a low v-neck tank top and the black of it made her skin look perfect.

"Who's your friend?" he asked, nodding towards the guy Ziva had been dancing with a minute before. "He looks a bit more than a friend actually, seeing as how you were grinding into him like you haven't slept with anyone in years."

"Jealous?" she whispered into his ear, her long curly hair brushing his chest, her soft lips only just brushing against his ear as she spoke.

He didn't have time to answer before she was pulled back into the mass of dancing bodies by Abby and with a seconds deliberation he followed the two women onto the dance floor for the first time that night

"See ya Probie."

He caught a glimpse of Ziva right up the front dancing with a blonde woman in a way that should have been illegal. He kept his eyes on her, shrugging off the women who moved against him, staying focused on his goal. _Ziva. _

A new song started up and Tony saw the blonde come onto Ziva a little too handsy for his liking. He wasn't going to lose Ziva to some chick; that would just be embarrassing. He finally reached her and pushed between the blonde so he was right behind her, his hips moving with hers like he was just asking for a Gibbs slap.

Either she didn't notice the change of person dancing with her or she didn't care, her hips kept on moving in time with his and her arms came up, pulling his head towards hers and making his whole body press even closer against her own. Tony was a little reserved at first but just from watching Ziva move with the music like it was a part of her made him shrug off any inhibitions and move to the music like he never had before.

"Now you have got it," Ziva whispered in his ear but he couldn't hear her over the music, only feel the vibrations running down his neck.

That simple whisper unlocked something in Tony and he found himself running his lips down Ziva's arm, smiling against the shivers she broke into when he did so. His lips touched her neck and she whipped around so she was facing him, still dancing in time to the music.

"Are you trying to get yourself killed?" she said, standing further away so her dark eyes could stare into his cheeky green ones.

"I thought you were liking it Zee-vah," he replied, pulling her body closer to him so he could feel her warmth through his thin shirt.

"That's not the point," she retorted and Tony couldn't help but grin. So she did like it. He was never going to let her forget that and without a moment's hesitation he dropped his head back down so his lips were trailing along her jaw line.

The music was angry; pulsing through her veins and causing her to act in a way she didn't ever expect. Her lips met his as furiously as the music was playing and the pair stayed connected with every part of their body until Abby danced over, obviously not seeing them making out or she would have gone in the other direction. But she didn't and Tony felt the loss of Ziva's body right away as she went back dancing with the blonde.

Abby pulled him back to the table leaving Ziva to dance and Tony was about to lose Abby and go back to her but she broke away from the blonde for a second and her dark eyes met his. He wasn't like Gibbs; he couldn't read people easily but what Ziva was telling him in her heated gaze was simple.

_Later._

_

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Review! Jules._


	11. Beautiful Facade

A.N. I know it's been ages but the school year is almost over so I should have more time to write soon! This is something I thought up while listening to a really happy song with rather depressing lyrics. It (as usual) is kinda abstract so you don't have to get all of it just the general idea and the meaning behind it.

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS but it is at the top of my Christmas List

No spoilers.

Songs: _It Doesn't Have to be Beautiful _by Slow Club and _Beautiful Mess_ by Jason Mraz

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**A Beautiful Facade**

When people saw them together they would stare.

_Look how beautiful they are,_ they would think as they passed by the couple, pausing to look behind them just to catch another glimpse of the gorgeous pair.

_They will have beautiful kids, _they thought as they waited in the ticket line at the movies, watching as the man leant over to his stunning partner and whispered something in her ear that she alone could hear. They would keep an eye on them as they made their way up for popcorn, watching with their fascinated eyes as she briefly touched his hand, their contact so brief but so meaningful.

_They are so beautiful together,_ everyone at the office whispered to each other as he gracefully led her through the double doors, her dress swirling around her and the music loud in the ballroom. They watched as he led her to the dance floor and wrapped his arms around her tiny waist, her bronzed arms reaching around his neck. They couldn't tear their gaze away as the beautiful pair waltzed around the floor seeming to defy gravity itself.

_You never looked at me like that, _an old lady reprimanded her sleepy husband as she watched them eat their meal, more focussed on each other than the first-class food they were putting in their mouths.  
_Well you never looked like that, _her husband grumbled, unable to draw his eyes away from the enchanting pair once he had looked up. Their eyes met across the table and they both laughed softly, years worth of knowledge in the others gaze.  
_Just think one day they'll be like us,_ the old woman said sweetly before focussing once again on her meal.

_He's so beautiful,_ the young barrister thought as she made the four coffees he had ordered but _she_ was right behind him, his hand rubbing gentle circles on her hip and the barrister sighed; _she_ was beautiful too and the beautiful man deserved her and she knew that she never had a chance next to the beautiful woman.

_You're recovering beautifully, _the psychiatrist smiled as he shook her hand and she had to repress the scream of fear and frustration because she wanted to go back to field work straight away. _You'll be perfect in no time._

_Beautiful, _people thought as they walked by the bench with the young couple sitting so comfortably on it. It was the only way to describe them; their looks, their gazes, their touches all screamed out that word to everyone that passed but no one thought to take a second look, to listen closer because if they did they would see that the loving gazes the beautiful couple shared so often wouldn't be full of love but of repressed craziness that he would try to take away from her with his beautiful touches, of sadness and mistrust that the other would try with all their twisted heart to put right.

People saw what they wanted to see; two young, beautiful people out sharing the afternoon with each other. They didn't see all the death and destruction that had happened in the beautiful people's lives. They didn't see the heartbreak, jealousy, betrayal, mistrust and the damaged heart of them.

People saw what they wanted to see; beauty. But once the lights were off and the doors were closed the ugly truth about them came out. The tears, screams, hits and fights would crawl out of the darkness and throw themselves at the pair and then because their hearts were so broken and ugly they would fall back into their bed and pull each other as close as they possibly could because they hoped that if they pulled hard enough then the two broken pieces of their ugly and twisted hearts would mesh together and give them some kind of peace for the night.

_Two ugly hearts with the facade of beauty._

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Please review, they are ALWAYS loved and appreciated =)

Jules


	12. Missing

_A.N. Came to me late one night. Could be a little bit more fragmented that normal but please review!!!_

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**Missing**

_Please, please forgive, _I thought as I stood on the tarmac watching my friends, my family, my life fly away. _But I won't be home again._

I knew none of them would cry because I had stayed in Israel. I had pushed everyone too far these past few months and more than anything I wanted them just to forget me. Better forgotten than hated. But most of all I wanted them to forget me so I could forget them.

To be back in Mossad, back as a killer I had to push those four amazing years into the back of my head, lock them away and never talk about it again. If I talked about it I might go crazy.

I had to lock away the soft, caring Ziva that had been born in America forever but when I did I couldn't help but think, _isn't something missing?_

I had waited to tell Gibbs that I was staying, not because it was a last minute decision but because a part of me was worried that if Tony knew I was staying he would have tried to stop me but a bigger part of me worried that if he knew I was staying he would do nothing.

He had denied being jealous of Michael at every turn and back then I didn't believe him and now? Now after he had killed Michael, come to Israel, been nearly killed by me and left me standing on the tarmac, I felt more alone than ever.

_Isn't someone missing?_

I turned around to face my father; his eyes rock hard and words of an unfinished mission on his lips. Even though he didn't say it, it was screamed out with every word he said. Suicide mission.

_Please, please forgive me,_ I thought, looking into his dark eyes but seeing two green/grey pools of light and smiling lips. _But I won't be home again._

-

I breathed deeply and tried not to scream as Saleem's hard boot connected with my stomach over and over. I couldn't help but think of Him. Him and Them; the people I had tried so hard to forget and I thought, _isn't something missing?_

The joking, the laughing, the teasing, the flirting, the lust filled gazes, the slaps on the back of our heads, the beatings, the torture, the dark, dusty room, "Tell me everything you know about NCIS" all melded together and as Saleem walked out, leaving me beaten and broken on the floor and felt more alone than ever.

_Isn't someone missing me?_

I kept quiet; didn't say a thing about NCIS and I felt the anger and pain, not from the beatings but from knowing that none of them knew I was slowly dying in here for them.

I couldn't sleep because I would see His face, hear His voice calling for me and then I would wake up and he wouldn't be there and I would think; _isn't something missing?_

I slowly faded away to nothing in that camp and every day I wondered, _isn't someone missing me?_

-

Years later on the other side of the world, Tony sat at his desk, throwing paper balls at the newest Probie. Suddenly he stopped and leant back in his seat, looking up at the bland ceiling. To no one in particular and barely conscious of what he was saying he asked,

"Isn't something missing?

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_Please Review!!!!_

_Jules_


	13. Little House

**A.N.** Wow it's like I've woken up from a 100 year sleep =) This isn't great but it's gotten me out of my writer's block and I haven't posted anything in ages. I don't think it's finished but I wanted to get this up to at least see what people think so if you have any ideas on what you want in another chapter then say so in a review or if you want it to be finished here then say that too =)

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS and I don't own Little House by The Fray which this story was inspired by

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**Little House**

She was at the point where she could send Somalia to the back of her mind, focus on other things while the daylight was around to chase away the dark memories. The only problem was after the sun had set the dark memories blended in exactly with the night and she couldn't chase them away no matter how hard she tried. She had woken up screaming, clutching her sweaty sheets like they were the only thing keeping her alive at night since she had returned. Everything she had been trying to hide; everything she had seen and been put through over there was scratching its way out of her no matter how hard she tried to forget about it.

Every morning she would make a hot tea to try and combat the hoarse, sore throat that was getting worse each day. Work was becoming more and more tiring especially since now she was doing twice as much paperwork and being harassed by everyone, Tony especially. One day she was just going to crack.

She padded out of her room, eerily calm after the last nightmare. Her eyes flickered to the deep shadows that could have been hiding anything and walked into her kitchen trying in vain to ignore the time.

Only midnight. She had a whole five hours to kill before she could even start to get ready for work and there was no way she could sleep any of those.

It was a funny thought; killing time. As if time was a living, breathing thing, capable of death.

She jumped up and moved back towards her bedroom before her thoughts turned really crazy and roughly pulled on shorts and a singlet before sprinting out her front door. Time died a lot faster when she was running but what she couldn't figure out was if she was running towards time or away from it. She didn't want to be thinking crazy thoughts like that though so she increased her pace and ran the familiar path that she didn't even realise she was following until it was too late. Oh well, at least she could get some paperwork done now.

She shivered as she entered the heated foyer of NCIS and nodded at the night guard before running up the stairs. The elevator left her too much time to think. She walked to her desk, seeing only a few night guards pacing the doors in the green glow of exit signs before she flicked on her desk lamp and started to work. She saw a flicker of movement out the corner of her eye and before she could even register where she was her hand was on her hip, feeling the familiar contours of her gun just in case it was Saleem.

Wait, she thought, her eyes never leaving the spot, Saleem was dead. Dead because of Gibbs and McGee and Tony. She was safe; but that thought couldn't get rid of the nightmares no matter how many times she said it to herself before going to sleep.

It was just like the director had said, she was damaged goods.

She smashed her head on the desk, trying to clear all the terrible memories from her mind but once her head was down it suddenly felt so heavy and her eyes shut of their own accord and before she could realise what she was doing she was asleep. The rest of her paperwork doubling as a pillow and the muted steps of the night guards her lullaby.

She slept through the swapping of the night guards to the day guards, slept through the light coming through the window, slept through all the dings of the elevator, slept through the people starting work, slept through Gibbs coming in and exiting soon after for coffee; slept through everything.

Tony stumbled out of the elevator at 0654 complaining about the early morning and lack of his coffee before dumping his bag on his desk and turning to see his new favourite sight.

Ninja-Probie asleep at her desk, head resting on the paperwork she had failed to finish. What more could he ask for?

He chuckled evilly, quietly of course, and crept up towards her, water bottle in his hand and grin on his face. She wasn't sleeping peacefully but he had suspected that since she had come back from Somalia and although it pained him to see her hurting he needed to get her back just once.

Her restlessness got worse though and she was clutching the desk so hard her fingers were white and her breathing was picking up and getting louder. Tony couldn't move. Was this because of a nightmare? Surely the memories couldn't do this to her, not since they had killed Saleem but she was tossing and turning and emitting whimpers that he never wanted to hear come out of her mouth and never wanted to again. It was too painful to listen to.

"Ziva," he whispered, stuck halfway between their desks. Too scared to go forward and too worried to step back.

He was suspended in the horrible limbo when she screamed. It shook him; more than seeing her resigned to death in Somalia because he knew that there was no way he could save her from herself. Guns and bad men were easy to get rid of but that presence of fear that Tony knew so much about yet so little took a lot more to go away and he wasn't sure if he could face it.

So the scream echoed around his head.

Then her eyes were on his and her hair was stuck to her sweaty face. Every inch of her screamed _scared_ and that wasn't something Tony was used to so he kept on staring at her wild eyes and hoped that something would make it better so he could look away.

Gibbs was behind him, his warm, strong hand on his shoulder and his deep, caring voice whispering in his ear.

"Take her home, make her better."

And he knew disobeying a direct order was bad but he wasn't sure if he would be able to make her better and her crazy eyes agreed with him even if her protesting words didn't.

"I am fine," she growled as she was dragged to the elevator, still in her running shorts and bare feet. Since when had she forgotten shoes?

"I do not need your help," she hissed as the elevator doors opened but he wasn't listening to her because she had pretended she was fine for too long and he wasn't going to let her wear this mask any longer.

She huffed as he pushed her into his car and the petulant look on her face almost made him think everything was okay but then he remembered the scream and sped so he was driving nearly up to her standards the whole way to his place.

On the way he realised he didn't even know where her new apartment was.

"So..." he started but it fell flat and the awkward silence reclaimed the small space until they finally pulled up to Tony's place.

With the engine off the silence was deafening.

How can silence be deafening? It was another one of the stupid American sayings and although it was nonsense Ziva found herself thinking about it. But then she shook her head and realised that the daylight was no time to be thinking crazy thoughts like that so she climbed out of the car and walked to Tony's front door, leaving said man in the car thinking over exactly the same thing she had been.

She sat in his house awkwardly. It seemed like a lifetime since she had sat here, a lifetime that had handed her a whole lot of hurt, pain and confusion and it was unnerving to be here; as if she was pretending everything was as it used to be.

"So..." Tony tried again, sitting beside her in a cheap imitation of movie nights years ago. Luckily for him Ziva was finally sick of her sleepless nights and turned to him her eyes more direct and sane than they should have been.

"How would you feel if you had to relive the worst thing you had been put through every night?"

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_Review and say if you want it continued or not or even just put a smiley face =) Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!_

_Jules_


	14. Never Say Never

Ok I wrote this whole thing in like half an hour and it's kind of piggy backing another idea I've had going for a while and I really don't know how I feel about this one. So please review and tell me what you guys think and I will try and post a new chapter soon! (If my muse lets me)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Song: Never Say Never by The Fray which should seriously be playing in the background the first time they kiss! If you know the song then tell me what you think....=)

Oh and I think this is one of the few times I have written in Tony's POV so I hope it's okay- I find it a lot harder to write Tony!

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**Never Say Never**

It was like a silent rule that hung over our team. Like Gibbs had added another rule to his list and none of us even thought to disobey it.

We didn't talk about Somalia or about Ziva's time there and looking at that now it feels like that was what was keeping our team apart; keeping us from being close like we used to be. It was like there was a physical gap that held Kate, Jeanne, Jenny, Michael and Somalia so even when we were standing nose to nose we were seven thousand seven hundred and twenty miles and four feet away from each another.

So we smiled.

We smiled and pretended that everything was the same when really all our lives had been turned around so completely I was pretty sure I was walking upside-down.

But Ziva.

Ziva was my constant and even though there was no way I could tell her out loud; I loved her. Not the sappy love, rose petals on the bed, a thousand daises and horses kind of love but love that I knew I couldn't live without her and even though I wasn't nearly brave enough and way too proud to admit it out loud, I told her every single morning with my eyes and my actions and while a part of me hoped that she didn't pick up on it a much larger and more persistent part of me did.

We kept on coming back to each other, baring ugly souls and scarred bodies and we would pass the night in ecstasy, forgetting everything we wouldn't admit until we finally collapsed and let sleep take us through the last hours of darkness. I knew what we were doing was wrong; right now Ziva needed someone to take her of her not to fuck her and leave in the morning we couldn't keep away from each other and she left me alone in my too big bed morning after morning with that look in her eyes that made her look so much younger and innocent. I always felt like a dirty old man after she looked at me like that, like I'd seen more than she could comprehend but then I would catch sight of a twisted scar across her back and realise that it was the other way around.

I still remember that first night; she had turned up to my apartment so like those movie nights we shared years ago but this time there was no food or alcohol or movies in her hand and as soon as the door had closed she was in my personal space and it felt so good to have that close again. Her eyes had held a challenge that I couldn't refuse so I reached my arms around her too small frame and made her forget everything until the morning.

Now; I could feel us growing apart but I held on to her tightly because at some point over the last few months our nights had become less about keeping her sane and more about keeping me sane.

"Don't go," I whispered into her hair and she turned around so her dark bewitching eyes were staring straight at mine.

"Don't let me go."

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_Review and make my day =) Jules_


	15. Temptation

A.N. I only have two excuses for the lack of writing from my part. Yr 11 and writers block. This isn't amazing but at least it's something so PLEASE review and hopefully I can write more soon!

Dislciamer: Still I own nothing...

Based on the Season 6 Premiere

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"Ohhh," the Very Special Agent in the desk next to McGee said, looking at his computer in a way that suggested he wasn't typing up reports.

"Hohohoo."

"Tony!" McGee snapped. "Could you please be quiet, some of us are actually trying to work here." Said agent lifted his head from the screen, sudden realisation adorning his features and his green eyes on the lookout for Gibbs and his impeccably times head slaps. His head then snapped to McGee, a mischievous smile that spelt trouble on his face.

"Take a look McGoogle; even someone like you has to enjoy this."

The mischievous smile was really starting to scare Timothy now.

With a quick tap on his keyboard, the image on Tony's computer popped up onto the plasma and McGee slowly got up from his desk, trying to figure out exactly what YouTube video Tony was watching now.

It was badly lit and very shaky but he quickly established it to be taken at some sort of bar or nightclub; a jazz number sung by a deep, rich singer in the background.  
"Tony, why are we watching this?" the younger agent sighed but then the singer stepped into view and even though she was so pixelated that he couldn't make out any details he could see exactly why Tony was watching it.

The girl was hottt, with three 't's.

She was far away from the shaky filmer but he could see her extremely low cut dress and her tanned, bare back as she practically gave a guy at the bar a lap dance, her song moving effortlessly from English to flawless French.

"Wow," McGee stuttered as the singer prowled closer and closer to the aspiring Alfred Hitchcock and he could see Tony next to him praising the Lord for the invention of video cameras.

"That dress looks amazing," he finally finished, glancing briefly at the senior field agent.

"It would look a lot better on my floor," Tony replied as the camera settled unabashedly on her butt.

"Yes, I must say that it is looking quite lonely at the back of my closet now."

McGee vaguely noticed their third team member but as the camera-man had steadied his hand as the swinging of the hips took up most of the screen, whatever the ex-assassin had said had gone right over his head.

"I officially love the man who filmed this," Tony said, his eyes following the form on the screen as the camera slowly rose up the singer's lithe body to rest on her face and that was when realisation hit the two men like a well aimed roundhouse to the privates.

"If I remember correctly, it was a woman."

_Ziva._ Shit.

Her face on the video flashed left then right, panic written clearly on her face before the camera was quickly shut off, the camera...woman, swearing beforehand.

McGee watched as Tony turned to face the deadly Israeli but after his encounter with her and the bikini pictures he was quite happy just standing the other, trying to accomplish being invisible.

"McGee," she said, her words laced with the promise of pain. He had no choice but to slowly turn around, his eyes squinted in the hope that the less he can see of her the less she can see of him.

It didn't work.

A swift, _very _hard slap to the back of his head sent his eyes into haywire but he smiled gently because the anger in her eyes was fading and McGee still owned all of his important pieces.

"Maybe," she murmured, her voice dropping an octave and he suddenly knew this part _wasn't _for Probies to hear. "If you are a good boy you will be able to see it on the floor."

McGee turned scarlet and Tony and Ziva looked on chuckling as he hastily retreated from the embarrassing scene, mumbling something about Abby's lab along the way.

Tony was going to have to pay for that man's therapy.

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_Review! Jules_


	16. Look After You

A.N. WOO look at my kick-ass updating skills =) I just want to give out an AWESOME thanks to all the fantastic reviewers who reviewed last chapter. i was really worried about the length between updating but I still got heaps of reviews (which is good) so please don't disappoint me this time!!

Disclaimer: Still don't own anything...

SPOILERS: Season 7 Episode 9 (Childs Play)

Song: Okay so it doesn't really relate to the chapter at all but it was the song that inspired me to write this and that kicked my muse into gear. Another "The Fray" song (they are awesomely inspiring) _Look After You_

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_Look After You_

She wasn't sure exactly why she had lied about killing someone but looking into the young girl's accusing eyes she was wishing she had never said anything.

"Are you sure that was your first time killing someone?" she had asked, her eyes harder than most kids her age and for the first time since she was little Ziva was thrown off.

"I-I," she stammered, not certain where this nervousness was coming from. She had been made to live a lie so many times; each undercover story was for that moment in time, her story but here she was stammering over one question delivered by a little girl.

"Yes," she managed to get out, her happy and carefree mask quickly replaced by one she thought she had chucked away after Somalia. Yet here she was digging through her crowded closet to find the blankness that she had worn for so many years.

"I don't believe you," she girl said, mad now that Ziva was lying to her.

Ziva quickly realised her mistake and the emotionless 'killer' mask was replaced by the smiling 'I'm just your average NCIS worker' one and careful not to look too deeply into the young girl's eyes she replied.

"Why would I lie about something like that?" Cool, calm, collected, happy; but of course Angela didn't believe her for a second.

-

"How many people have you killed?" Angela asked, walking extra fast to keep up with Ziva's long paces as she made her way back to the car, Gibbs inside talking to the girl's mum.

"I told you, none," she growled, getting annoyed and having to keep up this charade and even more annoyed by the fact that it was annoying her. She kept her paces even and her breathing in check and she wasn't surprised when Angela stopped her.

"I saw the way you killed that man," she said, her eyes clouding up with fear at the memory- she was only twelve. "You didn't react at all. If that was your first time killing someone you would have had a reaction, you would have hesitated if only for a second- but you didn't. That's why I know you're lying."

Stupid perceptive child prodigy.

"So how many people have you killed?"

Her tone was definitive. Final. Like she knew that Ziva was going to give in, like she knew Ziva wanted to get it out.

"I don't know," she said flatly, resuming her walk to the car. Since when did they park so far away?

"What do you mean you don't know?" the girl persisted. "Have you blotted them from your mind? Were you with someone else so you don't know who did it? Did you-"

"I mean I can't count because there are too many!" Ziva yelled, swinging around to face the suddenly stunned girl. "I lost count many years ago and I do not care to remember."

Angela was silent now, staring at the floor instead of intently at Ziva's face like she had been for the past interrogation.

"So what, like ten?" she started, not wanting to drop the subject until she had an answer. She _always_ got an answer.

Ziva exhaled loudly. This would be a lot easier if she wanted to keep the truth a secret, but the young girl's eyes were strangely understanding if not a little scared and as she felt her resolve slipping she saw the fear grow in Angela's eyes.

What was she thinking? She couldn't tell a twelve year old girl that she had killed hundreds of people. People who she didn't even know the name of, people she had slaughtered not killed. She couldn't tell the girl no matter how smart she was for her age, that she was a highly trained assassin.

"Yes," she said, her eyes looking into the young girl's. "Ten."

* * *

_Review and make me as happy as you did last chapter!_

_Jules._


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